Is It Important For Your Ex to Regret Losing You?

Did you ever feel like you wanted your ex to regret ever losing you?  How important is it that he feels regret for breaking up with you?

There are many reasons why we may feel inclined to want this:
-Maybe we wanted him to realize he did something wrong, repent, and then come back to us.
-Maybe we wanted to be certain that it was not our fault why the relationship didn’t work out after all.
-Maybe we wanted to heal our self-esteem that has been wounded badly.
-Maybe we wanted to have some kind of justice for suffering so much.

Understanding the reason we have behind this desire could be useful in helping us heal from our broken hearts. It could lead us to realizing how deeply we have been hurt or why we still haven’t been able to fully let go of the other person yet.

The most important thing though is to find healing for the present, and later on, to finally have that kind of happiness we’re yearning for.

It Doesn’t Mean You’re Unloveable

Having someone break up with you doesn’t mean you’re unloveable.  It also doesn’t mean no one could ever love you the way you deserve to be loved.

Many people fail to love us the way we should be loved.  They fail to respect us and treat us well.  Don’t think you’re always the one to be blamed.

While it is true that we do have a part to play in a relationship, it works both ways.  The other person has a part to play also, and if he or she doesn’t, no matter how hard we try, the relationship would eventually break apart.

You Need Hope

You need hope to heal your broken heart.   Not only the hope of making things right again with your ex, or of finding a new partner who will love you better, but the hope of being well and whole again, of being able to smile again from the heart without the pain getting in the way and blocking your sight with tears.

You will feel better.  You will find that hope.  Even when you think everything’s already hopeless, if you strive to find it, you will have hope again.  God is our hope.  And God’s love for us will never fail.

“Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed…” – Romans 4, NIV

5 Methods for Getting Over Your Ex

5 Methods for Getting Over Your Ex by Jerry Lambden

Do you ever find yourself checking his or her Facebook page, or asking mutual friends what’s new inside your ex’s life? You know-the indirect stalking strategy?
Letting go is among the toughest elements of a break up. No one likes saying “goodbye,” or visiting grips with the fact they have to move on, or that something didn’t succeed.
Here’s why (and solutions to those reasons) why it is so hard to let go:
There’s always Something There To Remind You
When a person is gone, all you’ve got left are bits of their memory. This could range from a strand of hair to some ticket stub from a special date, to some song. If you’re especially sentimental (weak-minded) much like me, you’ve probably saved many reminders.
Solution: I understand it’s hard to throw stuff away, but, you could stow away for later, when it’s possible to look back fondly at things without those negative emotions. Place it all in a box in the garage. Go cold turkey on the perfect song, avoid the cologne or perfume they wore, etc. It’s like breaking a poor habit.
There’s A Human Network
It’s ok to keep on to friendships by having an ex’s friends and family, but it would behoove you to definitely avoid seeing these friends for some time.
It’s all too easy to ask a mutual friend what your boyfriend or girlfriend is up to. I’ve found myself “hanging out” more with mutual friends after breakups simply to check up on my ex. Not healthy.
Solution: Avoid mutual friends, as painful and rude because it seems. And if the thing is them, you should not inquire about your ex-limit conversation subjects to future and offer, not the past.
…as well as an Internet Network
My pal Jess has a terrible practice of continuing to follow her exes on Facebook following a breakup. This does only infuriate her.
She’ll inform me that her ex is “happier than he’s have you been,” or seeing a frustrating girl she knows.
Solution: De-friend them on Facebook which means you can’t see what they’re up to. Even if you think you are able to avoid looking, the temptation is going to be there. Be diligent about reducing contact across the internet.
It’s all too easy To Jump In So Fast
How often have you had to end rapport because you couldn’t stop considering your ex? If you’re not over him, and also you can’t have him, you can find into another relationship to be able to replace him. Eventually, it is going to come back to haunt you because you’ll eventually realize you will find things you haven’t handled.
Solution: You should hold back until you’re over your boyfriend or girlfriend before getting into another romantic relationship. But it’s tough to wait. It isn’t like you want to quit a chance just because you aren’t over your ex. Also, sometimes you believe you’re over your boyfriend or girlfriend even though you’re not. Hey, I never said these solutions could be easy!
It’s Tough To remain Motivated
When you’re down within the dumps over losing someone, it’s not hard to turn inward and steer clear of going out, meeting people, even working. However the more unmotivated you’re, the easier it is to obsess within the person you’re attempting to let go of.
Solution: You literally need to force yourself to stay busy and distracted. You won’t just meet people and remain productive, however, you will find that you’re not considering that person too much…which supports you let go.
To be able to turn away from someone mentally, spiritually and physically, it requires power, motivation, force, and faith. It can be done because, in most cases, you had been happy without this person before you decide to met them-so you can be happy again.

About the Author

Base on personal experience I just wanted to share and help others. I felt the heaviness on your heart had started to lift and that for me is already so refreshing that you  forget about your ex.

Top 10 Tips For Building Loving Relationships

Top 10 Tips For Building Loving Relationships   by Lynda Klau

Tips for turning new, premarital or broken, into successful relationships.

How many of us have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did we learn? At home? At school? There is an art and science to building strong relationships. These indispensable tips were written with romantic relationships in mind, but with a little modification you can apply them to your friendships, family and even work relationships.

1. Create a safe environment where you can trust and share openly without being afraid: Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. No name calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you’re too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and “calm down.” Remember: your partner is not the enemy.

2. Separate the facts from the feelings: What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you’re able to differentiate facts from feelings, you’ll see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.

3. Connect with the different parts of yourself: Each of us is not a solo instrument. We’re more like a choir or an orchestra with several voices. What is your mind saying? What is your heart saying? What is your body saying? What is your ‘gut’ saying? For example: My mind is saying ‘definitely leave her,’ but my heart says ‘I really love her.’ Let these different voices or parts of you co-exist and speak to one another. In this way, you will find an answer that comes from your whole self.

4. Develop Compassion: Practice observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoging respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.

5. Create a “we” that can house two “I’s”: The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually-supportive relationship is to be separate and connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or her self, compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to the creation of a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.

6. Partner, heal thyself: Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can be supportive as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.

7. Relish the differences between you: The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need to be with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they’re often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.

8. Ask questions: All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.

9. Make time for your relationship: No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well-being of your relationship. That includes making “playdates” and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.

10. Say the “hard things” from love: Become aware of the hard things that you’re not talking about. How does that feel? No matter what you’re feeling in a situation, channel the energy of your emotions so that you say what you need to say in a constructive manner.

Your tip: Do you have a great relationship tip of your own? If so, share it with me.

There you have it. Be kind to yourselves. Remember: change takes time and every step counts.

Dr.Lynda Klau
Founder and Director of
Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility
http://www.DrLyndaKlau.com
drlyndaklau@gmail.com
1 212 595 7373

About the Author

For over two decades, Lynda has worked with individuals, couples, teams and organizations as an integrative psycho-spiritual therapist, coach and holistic business strategist. A professional public speaker, and published author, Lynda conducts workshops nationally and internationally and appears on radio and television.

An expert in the development of human possibility, she addresses a full spectrum of issues, from depression, anxiety and relationship issues, to leadership, female empowerment, self-care, finding your passion, manifesting your power, and pursuing your calling in the world.

She currently serves on the Board of GAINS: The Global Association for Interpersonal Neurobiology. Since 2009, she has hosted a monthly online seminar for professionals in the greater New York metropolitan area with Dr. Dan Siegel, one of the founders of Interpersonal Neurobiology (IPNB). A former tenured Assistant Professor of Clinical Psychology at Ramapo College in New Jersey, she now serves on the faculty of ASP’s Spirituality and Psychotherapy Graduate Program.

Her recent training in IPNB naturally compliments her unique set of skills and cutting- edge tools for transformation, which together form the foundation of her company Life Unlimited: The Center for Human Possibility. Her practice is based in New York City, where she lives.